Afta Semenya, IAAF itatest nyauthis in Berlin

As tha IAAF amuas kama Caster Semenya ni charlie, manzi au charlie-manzi, inasemekana IAAF pia itatest all nyauthiz pausing in Berlin. "Makarao have orders 2 nab all miros in tao," says Red Biro aka r.biro, IAAF chief invigilator. "Msijali, hazitakuwa tests sugu, basic 2."
Test ya fao will be geog. "Tutawai hawa wa-africa map ya world na itabidi wapoint pale berlin iko," r.biro xplains. He adds maexaminer wako na option of asking wasay 2 locate nchi zao kwa map. "Lakini sio important kama test ya fao."
Test ya mbe will involve manyauthi proving they lived in cagers be4 fikaing berlin. "Tutawapeleka nje ya cager fulani na one by one wataitwa ndani to show us not only burungu kama switch, TV, window, shower, bed, etc, but also their uses," r.biro maintains.
Since wadhii nje ya continent hudhani in africa we ride lions, elephants na wanyama wengine, identifying ndai itakuwa janta ya tatu. "Tutawashow picha alafu they have 2 show us tyres, boot, engine, tenje, clutch and so on," r.biro sez. He adds dat kulikuwa na mpango ya kurent ndai 4 practicals, lakini campu za insurance zikadinda na cover 'coz this mass scale experiment has never been tried be4.'
4th, nyauthiz itabidi waprove their knowledge n experience in using ganji. "Tutawapeleka supermarket fulani tao where we will swing em shopping lists," r.biro xplains. "Lengo letu ni kuona kama wanaweza anza safari from tha shelf hadi cashier bila blunders."
Finally, nyauthiz will have 2 prove they weren't ng'araing in skinz n blankets kabla washoot berlin. "Itabidi watambue not only burungu kama njumu, skirt, long'i, socks, etc" r.biro sez, "but vile hizo huvaliwa."
R.biro confirms dat final results hazita affect visa status ya wale watagwara. "Wasijali, tutawapeleka beginner classes na doe zetu," he sez. But anaonya hizi tests mite be conducted in future on nyauthiz intending 2 visit not just berlin, but otha parts of europe, stato, asia na uarabuni.

Karaos 2 excel in customer service afta evening daros

Makarao wameconfirm maneno matamu yako njiani afta getting elimu ya ngumbaru in customer care. "Tuseme mathegi carjack u on a Friday jioni and by kismat dump u alive at Karura forest with your fone, ukitubuzz hatutalenga fone," sez inspector Njumu Zinametameta. "Instead, tutakushow, 'Shukran 4 buzzing 999. Pole sana beste 4 yo misfortune 'n we feel u, we really do. Lakini manze ndai yetu haina GPS. Si u buzz us in 2030 hivi. Cheers' "
Zinametameta adds dat u shouldn't stress ukigongana na magava on patrol in yo mtaa usiku usiku. "Hakuna ofisa atakuask, 'Unatoka wapi, unaenda wapi, leta ID haraka haraka!' " Instead they will enquire how yo day was, recognise vile umeng'ara poa, n kumbusha u how muhadhara it is 2 tembea mtaani malate kwanza these days of elec rationing. "In fact mmoja wetu will volunteer 2 escort u hadi cager yako," Zinametameta sez.
He xplains dat mama pimas will b treated with r.e.s.p.e.c.t. during misakos. "Be4 tulikuwa tunapita na mlango halafu tunabamba pombe haramu," he reminisces. "Lakini kutoka morrow we will kwanza knock, gotea mama Timo n her clayos, alafu show her tuko na copy ya nguvu kwamba ana ndonyo ng'ang'u in violation of section 254, subsection 020 of the keroro act of the Lancaster House constitution of the sovereign republic of kenya.' " Zinametameta sez magava will then request mama timo afungue mlango mos mos.
And wen traffic cops suddenly simamisha mandai tao ndio orezo apite, mmoja wao will xplain situation 2 u. "Gota dere, wazi. Eazer jo, tunaelewa una rush 2 drop dat urgent maize importation tender. Lakini time mdogo ndio prezzo afike mtaani 4 tiabe ya saa nne."

Bano, cati, 2 fufuka during Nai blakouts

Wasay wa area code 020 hv been shown kuna side poa ya elec rationin dat is on like a nanzenz. "Ukweli, wadhii wa jiji wana right ya kuzusha lakini sio saaana," sez Nchi Giza, tha MC during jana's official launch of the Nai edition of the kenya elec rationing show kule jamu park.
Giza xplains vile tabia mbaya huanza home ndio pia huko kuna gap 4 innovation during raondi hii ya mablackouts. "Nani hajacheki vile wakidi wengi siku hizi wakitoka daro na pia wikendi wanakuwanga juu ya mavideo na fone games 2 sana?" giza asks. "Sasa mapero wako na chance ya kuteach majnr wao michezo that don't need elec kama bano, ball, cati na bladder."
Inter personal relationships ni sekta ingine giza sez rationin itapiga jeki mdogo. "Mara mob tukifika cagerni afta colle au kuhustle, si huenda straight kucheki tv, kumanga alafu kudoro," he observes. "Sasa vile elec itakuwa less ma usiku usiku hivi, famo zitapata xtra time ya kugoteana na kupiga story kaa wanamunch candle-lit dinner."
Tukienda side ya wax, giza sez macampu shud temporarily chuja dat doze of wasay kudunga suti daily. "Since elec itakuwa inajikata 6am, itakuwa hard kuguarantee shati na mini-skirt smooth daily," he warns wadosis. Giza suggests 'dress down fridays' 2 b replaced with 'dress down daily.'
Juu big ass companies haziguswi na rationing, giza ameshauri ma jua-kalis 2 marry ndio next time watanusurika. "Haja gani musifiwe ati SMMEs r tha engine of development alafu kukithoka mnakuwa wa kwanza kunyimwa elec?" Giza adds ni urgent wadosis wa jua-kali wakae down, waboti candles bei ya wholesale, na waanze kunego.

Hilary updates Bill on her Nai raos with Somalia orezzo

Sasa sweetie. Niko poa on my tour of Africa na nabambika ni aji! Na hope ile dishi nilikuachia kabla nishoot bado iko.
Nway, leo yote nilikuwa Nai where among otha pips i met was prezzo Ahmo wa Somalia. Si unamesea makauzi hiyo mtaa won't let hata mende ivisit. Noma sweetie, noma.
Afta press conference Ahmo alichomoa mpango ya kunipeleka Easich. I was like, "Where the *** is Easich?" Akanishow Easich is Mogadishu's twin sis, only difference being Easich is multi-cultural. I was game. We went 2 Posta where I almost blundered by dandiaing tha 1st mathree displaying the '9' kibao kwa windscreen. "Unado? Hauoni hii mathree vile imechoka?" Ahmo tetad.
We tegead kiasi halafu mathree moja with a variety of colours, sagging tyres, an exhaust that sounded like a rocket, and baggy side mirrors checked in. Ahmed showed me 2 fuata him, lakini hatunge compete na madem/macharlie wa seco who didn't even ngoja mathree isimame. By tha time tujisunde ndani ndai ilikuwa chrome. Kulikuwa na charlie moja holding coins mob kwa mkono ya right and shaking them as if he was sending a secret message. He also kept on repeating, "Mwisho wa gari tafadhali, mwisho wa..." "This is tha condi, beste yangu sana hadi utabebwa saree," Ahmo xplained. He then gotead dere and in sekunde kadhaa charlie moja who was seated next to tha dere was chujwad and I replaced him.
Mathree anzad safari halafu vitu mbe fanyikad tulipofika Luthuli ave: dere aliwachilia ngoma zingine loud viajabu na pia akafinya ndai mpaka I thot we wud fly! Mwisho wa Luthuli tukaget jam on River rd. Lakini condi mjanja akashow dere asijifunge na jam, apasulie thru Kirinyaga rd and off we went, kwanza wrong side! Fikaing Mtoni tukapata karao who raised his mkono. Lakini wapi, tha dere, who was tafunaing some greenish majani frm a juala, lengad him big time. Nikamuangalia in horror. "Usijali supuu. Huyo karao tunajua dawa yake na tutampitia squad next," he semad.
Wakati mathree fikad Garage, Ahmo showed me tudondoke. Damn, dere alikuwa charlie moja mhandsome! "Kitambo kidogo hii ndio ilikuwa base ya boo za KBS," Ahmo pointed to tha empty museum. Tukaendelea kupiga kalesa lakini kwa roadi juu pevu side zote zilikuwa zimeshona ma hawker na taka taka. I also did long jump 2 avoid sewage na mate.
Next stop was Garissa Lodge where kila burungu frm a 21-inch telly hadi G-string zilikuwa zinauzwa bei ya jioni. Nikaconvert hizo bei 2 madollaray na chief, huskii Stato tunagongwa kugongwa! Baada ya tour mdogo nikageiwa complimentary CD of 'bongo la biashara' by the Garissa Lodge Hustlers Sacco.
Next ilikuwa cager ya broker flani wa mitoo. Si alikuwa na selection ya nguvu: Ak, 9mm... si usaray. He swung me a complimentary AK. "Don't get it twisted. He xpects u 2 unganishia 4 him bizna in Stato thru AGOA," Ahmo sed.
Nilikuwa naanza kuenjoi hii tour n was looking fwd 2 visiting the next SME wen karao nabbed Ahmo and ordered him atoe ID chap chap. I tetad dat this was a denial of his human right of freedom of movement. "Tuliza au sisi wawili tutalala ndani," he sed. "Time 2 hapo narudi." I decided to buzz Ubako n zusha wen shit, I kumbukad fone yangu can't roam in Africa. I was about 2 give up on Ahmo wen he came back kaa anahema "Woria, msako noma nakwambia." He showed me tour itabidi ikatike n we dandiad the nearset mathree 2 tao.
Lakini Ahmo ni mchoraji. Wen we were in Ngara he buzzed wadhii kadhaa and tukajikuta at the HQ za Easich Veve Stock Exchange (EVSE) at Wilson airport. Nikajionea vile veve is bot, packaged n loaded kwa ndege 4 xport majuu. As usual nikathanyua a complimentary gunia ambayo tutaveveka nayo nikirudi home, usijali.
Siku interesting au sio. Whacha nikadoro juu morrow nashoot SA. Lala unono my dear.
PS: Nai kuna power rationing so sikupiga mbisha na fone yangu 2 save battery, pole.

Kenyanz pausing majuu advised of how 2 avoid Gates' karao experience

Afta a nyauthi professor wa nguvu was kamatuad by stato makarao 4 pitaing with his own mlango ya cager yake, ubako n tinga's gova has chomoad a 'Usido' survival guide online 4 wakenya already there na pia wale flying out leo. "Sema. Afta kisanga ya henry gates kubambua na makarao kwa cager yake even afta awashow I.D. yake, imebidi tuonye wakenya in advance," sez tukae masaa of tha wakenya walioko majuu (wwm) dept of the min. of foreign affairs.
Gates alipita na mlango ya cager yake baada ijam kufunguka, lakini neighbour mngoso alishtua makarao ati kuna makauzi in dat diggs.
Masaa warns kenyans living majuu, n particularly in stato, not 2 photocopy gates' njaro shud their doors jam kufunguka. "Sakanya neighbour mngoso acome apite na huo mlango, lakini kwanza mshow I.D. yako na title deed kaa uko nayo," he xplains. He adds if yo jiranis diss u, then buzz makarao.
2nd, if yo mots battery chips mangware, tafadhali usijaribu 2 stua it. "Ningeku advise uende works na mathree, alafu lunch time ucome na breakdown preferably ya mngoso," masaa cautions.
Tatu, tuseme mboch wako apate bottee call alafu asahau kuanua mng'aro, don't jaribu kuzianua usiku afta wax. "Unless kunarain, time hadi morning," masaa sez.
Nne, kaa unacharge fone yako at jobo, usidhubutu kuidisconnect fuaaa afta battery ishone. "Ita ma colleague wawili-watatu wangoso alafu ushow mmoja abuzz namba yako 2 prove fone ni yako," masaa sez. He adds dat yo chances of being believed r hi kama ringtone yako inajivunia kuwa ya kikenya.