Brito imeamua kucounter sue kenya afta mau mau vets pelekad case kortini in brito on tue demanding munde 4 stress they pitiad in concentration camps during emergency period ya 1952-60.
Joseph johnson, a retired mzae who used 2 shona homeguards' uniforms during dayz of ukoloni, ako nai as brito's star witness. He sez brito iko na reasons kadhaa why kesi yao ni sugu.
"Is vipi. I say, tulileta kingoso kenya kwa meli alafu tuka waachia roho safi bila kuwalipisha," he xplains. "Lakini afta 63 mukaichafua kabisa: ati sasa ni nailobi badala ya nairobi, fees badala ya fish, sbrint badala ya sprint, daaamn!" He ongezas dat sheng imemake ish worse. "Tafadhali, tuheshimiane boss. Usitaje hiyo jina mbele yangu."
Mbuyu jose sez dish ni reason 2. "Cheki, english breakfast inabamba kinyama. but zee, sasa not only did u chuja it, but hata b-fast raondi hii hamumangi kwa cager," he caused. "Eti munalike chai ya offo ikisindikizwa na ndao, chapo au samo." Jose adds mabeste linking up afta wax 4 kahawa au barley instead of hi tea pia haimjazz.
Tatu ni dress code. "Wakati tulikuwa tunarun show hii mtaa macharlie wote walikuwa wanadunga kinyasa na kunyolewa kijeshi," mbuyu jose kumbukas. "Lakini sasa macharlie including makarao wanachapilia long'i na lo, pia wanasuka nywele! scandal charlie yangu, scandal." He adds dat jamaaz saggin jeanoz in tao wana muudhi ni aji. "At first nili jijazia wasay waliboti jeano oversize kimakosa alafu mashop zikadinda kuxchange. Afta kuuliza uliza nikashoiwa kwani naishi wapi."
Mbuyu jose sez 4 now those 3 mashtakas will form brito's case - but ongezas brito is willin 2 drop 'em if the mau mau vets kill their kesi. "Beste, mbona mnatafuta beef na sisi yet brito huboti valentine's day roses mob kutoka kenya kila mwaka?"
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Teeniez sasa demandin 4 1800cc ndais
Folks wameteta dat minister soita's maoni dat hawezi fika a funky in a small ride coz it's 4 teeniez is 2 blame 4 their kidoz turnin 18 sasa demandin motis.
Wen he chopped gova's budget majuzi, uhuru downgraded ministas from shindes, prados, rangeez, etc to 1800cc motis 2 save munde gova spends on ngata n kirinyaga rd spares.
Afta soita's kichwa ngumu diss, peros whose tois r gongaing 18 wanakiona. "Pato aliturn 18 on june 18," semas baba pato. "Hiyo asubuhi ngware pato alinishow mbisha za ndai za 1800cc zile alikuwa amedownload kwa fone yake ndio a book test drive." Baba pato stukad, thinkin dat pato had angukiad ganji za power kutoka those emails dat promise jamaas mamilioni in commission if u swing em yo a/c no ndio wadeposit their inheritance from a dead sonko who was a distant rela.
"Wapi, pato alinikumbusha ati ni birthday yake na since huyu mbuyu anaitwa shitash alibonga 1800cc ndais r for teeniez, kuna vile naweza organise moja?" Baba pato xplains dat pato has been smsin him like kila dakika, includin emailing him links 2 all websites of dealers from ngong rd 2 park rd 2 thika rd dat specialise in 1800cc rides. "Boss, what's this? Huyu mjnr amenoki nini? Si juzi juzi birthday ilikuwa cake, babito, watoi kucheza hide n seek alafu jioni washoot home," he kumbukas.
He sez wen he gongad 18 his mafolks walimpeleka 2 tha chief where he kwachud an I.D. "Alafu wakanipiga msomo ati sasa niwache tabia za kitoto kama kucheza na ball ya juala, othawise sitapata wife."
Baba pato ameamua kulenga pato's calls n jobo OT, even tho works don't chota 4 OT siku hizi.
But mama pato, who is also being handwad by pato n is avoiding him by attendin mo chama meetings, baby showers n keshas, amechomoa idea ingine.
"Nitamobilise mapero wote ambao watoi wao wamegonga 18 n r demandin 1800cc motis as birthday gifts. Halafu tutademonstrate nje ya nani huyo, eh, soita's offo demandin aseme he was misquoted or s'thin," declares mama pato. "Labda alimaanisha the cars r 4 ministas' tois who r turning 18, au kitu kama hiyo."
Wen he chopped gova's budget majuzi, uhuru downgraded ministas from shindes, prados, rangeez, etc to 1800cc motis 2 save munde gova spends on ngata n kirinyaga rd spares.
Afta soita's kichwa ngumu diss, peros whose tois r gongaing 18 wanakiona. "Pato aliturn 18 on june 18," semas baba pato. "Hiyo asubuhi ngware pato alinishow mbisha za ndai za 1800cc zile alikuwa amedownload kwa fone yake ndio a book test drive." Baba pato stukad, thinkin dat pato had angukiad ganji za power kutoka those emails dat promise jamaas mamilioni in commission if u swing em yo a/c no ndio wadeposit their inheritance from a dead sonko who was a distant rela.
"Wapi, pato alinikumbusha ati ni birthday yake na since huyu mbuyu anaitwa shitash alibonga 1800cc ndais r for teeniez, kuna vile naweza organise moja?" Baba pato xplains dat pato has been smsin him like kila dakika, includin emailing him links 2 all websites of dealers from ngong rd 2 park rd 2 thika rd dat specialise in 1800cc rides. "Boss, what's this? Huyu mjnr amenoki nini? Si juzi juzi birthday ilikuwa cake, babito, watoi kucheza hide n seek alafu jioni washoot home," he kumbukas.
He sez wen he gongad 18 his mafolks walimpeleka 2 tha chief where he kwachud an I.D. "Alafu wakanipiga msomo ati sasa niwache tabia za kitoto kama kucheza na ball ya juala, othawise sitapata wife."
Baba pato ameamua kulenga pato's calls n jobo OT, even tho works don't chota 4 OT siku hizi.
But mama pato, who is also being handwad by pato n is avoiding him by attendin mo chama meetings, baby showers n keshas, amechomoa idea ingine.
"Nitamobilise mapero wote ambao watoi wao wamegonga 18 n r demandin 1800cc motis as birthday gifts. Halafu tutademonstrate nje ya nani huyo, eh, soita's offo demandin aseme he was misquoted or s'thin," declares mama pato. "Labda alimaanisha the cars r 4 ministas' tois who r turning 18, au kitu kama hiyo."
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Walalo marebels unleash face 1 of 'operation tuvamie kenya'
Ile kirindi inajiita al shabaab from walalo land dat on thursday tishad 2 invade kenya coz tumeweka ma soldiers kaa thao kwa border ime unleash face 1 of its njama.
In a DVD delivered in liboi tao along da border by a kwishad ngamia dat chipped papo hapo afta kumaliza missioni, colonel risasi bin suesyde boma semad dat itaanza by dissing kenyan veve. "Tutasare kuveveka na veve kutoka meru juu mnadharau ile customer loyalty tunawapatia daily," he tetad in tha movie dat had swa sub-titles. "Kubaf, kumbe hizo mamilioni munatumia kuboti silaha ndio mucome kutustua. Sawa bas, uzieni hiyo veve yenu hao wangoso wana wasupply na ma A.K." Bin suesyde boma confessed his pips wud suffer withdrawal symptoms but aka insist "afadhali tubambike na moshi ya xhaust."
Step 2 itakuwa kukoma investing in easich n south c. "Hatuta spend doe kuboti mathree kila wiki za namba 9 au macager mugoya," he xplained. "Tutasunda hizo doe chini ya mattress instead."
Tatu is no mo bringin of ngombez from north eastern 2 nai. "Si mumezoea kufika kenyatta marko kumanga ugali choma. Mnadhani hiyo nyake imetoka wapi? Sasa muanze kuzoea sembe cabbage au ka hamuwezani, pia kuna crusade uhuru park kila lunchtime," he sed.
Bin suesyde boma ongezad dat invadin kenya ilikuwa option ya fao, but aka convince wadosi wake waende mos mos. "Wakenya, mnafaa munigay nuff respect juu kama sio ile MBA nilikwachu in soft skills management kutoka mogadishu metropolitan uni, raondi hii ingekuwa mapambano, mapambano."
In a DVD delivered in liboi tao along da border by a kwishad ngamia dat chipped papo hapo afta kumaliza missioni, colonel risasi bin suesyde boma semad dat itaanza by dissing kenyan veve. "Tutasare kuveveka na veve kutoka meru juu mnadharau ile customer loyalty tunawapatia daily," he tetad in tha movie dat had swa sub-titles. "Kubaf, kumbe hizo mamilioni munatumia kuboti silaha ndio mucome kutustua. Sawa bas, uzieni hiyo veve yenu hao wangoso wana wasupply na ma A.K." Bin suesyde boma confessed his pips wud suffer withdrawal symptoms but aka insist "afadhali tubambike na moshi ya xhaust."
Step 2 itakuwa kukoma investing in easich n south c. "Hatuta spend doe kuboti mathree kila wiki za namba 9 au macager mugoya," he xplained. "Tutasunda hizo doe chini ya mattress instead."
Tatu is no mo bringin of ngombez from north eastern 2 nai. "Si mumezoea kufika kenyatta marko kumanga ugali choma. Mnadhani hiyo nyake imetoka wapi? Sasa muanze kuzoea sembe cabbage au ka hamuwezani, pia kuna crusade uhuru park kila lunchtime," he sed.
Bin suesyde boma ongezad dat invadin kenya ilikuwa option ya fao, but aka convince wadosi wake waende mos mos. "Wakenya, mnafaa munigay nuff respect juu kama sio ile MBA nilikwachu in soft skills management kutoka mogadishu metropolitan uni, raondi hii ingekuwa mapambano, mapambano."
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Conje to jaribu keep ma mps macho during budget speech
Bunge raondi hii has chomoad a mpango dat labda will kazia mps from dozing when uhuru chops his fao budget next thursday.
Mays, parliament's chief usher and door locker, says alipata motisha ya kudo s'thin 1 aftay after mps scattered juu ya lack of quoro. "Jo, nilikuwa idle na mimi hutinga wax 4.32. So nika amua kucheki clips za last year ndio nijue risto ya sitting arrangement," he xplains. "Ebu imajin ma mp kaa wote walikuwa wanang'orota wakati kimush alikuwa anabonga story ya ganji za mabilioni. Mezesha charlie yangu, mezesha."
Mays semas afta kuwatch hiyo horror movie, he amuad kubrainstorm solutions kabla ya june 11, but haikuwa eazy. "Nilibonga na ma dere na ma bodyguards. Wakachomoa ideas kaa nichew paper kwa mdomo kaa veve alafu nitupie ma mp wanaotuna, au niandike majina zao alafu ni email speaker man ken, etc."
It was in kachmega while attending a ngo-sponsored workshop on 'current best practice in parliamentary ushering' dat mays angukiad a suluhisho. "Kuna sato nilienda kucheki bullfighting ndio ikanihit: Conje!" he xclaims.
Wen he came back, Mays had 2 time her 4 kitu a month along thika rd be4 he caught up with her one ngware doing tizi. "Kwanza, aliitisha cash in advance lakini nikamshow hakuendangi hivyo kwa tender za gova," he bongas.
"Lakini alinionya tukijaribu ujanja ya typing error kwa cheque yake atatufunza adabu style ya mike tyson."
He is fired dat conje will toboa juu since our mps r vichwa ngumu, wanahitaji dawa sugu only her jabs can deliver. Mays burnt 4 her a CD of the clip of the mps doroing so that she can jua who r the problem swatchists. "So, siwezi sema ako wapi saa hii, but ni location ya nguvu: gym, telly, buffet, maji hot, massage, na kadhlalika."
Only 1 shida now sumbuas mays be4 thursday. "Sijui akae side gani: pnu au odm. Bamba hii biz card yangu, ukipata ideas ni buzz."
Mays, parliament's chief usher and door locker, says alipata motisha ya kudo s'thin 1 aftay after mps scattered juu ya lack of quoro. "Jo, nilikuwa idle na mimi hutinga wax 4.32. So nika amua kucheki clips za last year ndio nijue risto ya sitting arrangement," he xplains. "Ebu imajin ma mp kaa wote walikuwa wanang'orota wakati kimush alikuwa anabonga story ya ganji za mabilioni. Mezesha charlie yangu, mezesha."
Mays semas afta kuwatch hiyo horror movie, he amuad kubrainstorm solutions kabla ya june 11, but haikuwa eazy. "Nilibonga na ma dere na ma bodyguards. Wakachomoa ideas kaa nichew paper kwa mdomo kaa veve alafu nitupie ma mp wanaotuna, au niandike majina zao alafu ni email speaker man ken, etc."
It was in kachmega while attending a ngo-sponsored workshop on 'current best practice in parliamentary ushering' dat mays angukiad a suluhisho. "Kuna sato nilienda kucheki bullfighting ndio ikanihit: Conje!" he xclaims.
Wen he came back, Mays had 2 time her 4 kitu a month along thika rd be4 he caught up with her one ngware doing tizi. "Kwanza, aliitisha cash in advance lakini nikamshow hakuendangi hivyo kwa tender za gova," he bongas.
"Lakini alinionya tukijaribu ujanja ya typing error kwa cheque yake atatufunza adabu style ya mike tyson."
He is fired dat conje will toboa juu since our mps r vichwa ngumu, wanahitaji dawa sugu only her jabs can deliver. Mays burnt 4 her a CD of the clip of the mps doroing so that she can jua who r the problem swatchists. "So, siwezi sema ako wapi saa hii, but ni location ya nguvu: gym, telly, buffet, maji hot, massage, na kadhlalika."
Only 1 shida now sumbuas mays be4 thursday. "Sijui akae side gani: pnu au odm. Bamba hii biz card yangu, ukipata ideas ni buzz."
Monday, June 1, 2009
Charm brewers wanahope kuwai nyayo stadi deal
Mathays who ndonyo charm in nai wamechomoa mpango ya ulizaing wadosi wa nyayo stadi 2 let em brand it. Hii ni afta gova chujad da 3-yr deal dat had swung coke da right 2 rename hiyo place "coca-cola national stadium."
Mama Pima, mdosi wa new business development of tha Charm Brewers SACCO, sed ni wakati wa charm kupewa respect due afta miaka kaa 40 ya being hated on. "Ni antaji. Whacha nikusimulie histo mdogo. Wakoloni hawakulike ng'ang'u juu ilikuwa inapatia barley za kwao compay noma," she xplained, "So wakaichomea wire by saying oh ati inadhuru afya ya wadhii, oh sijui ng'ang'u inavunja ma famo, vako mob."
Mama Pima aliongeza ya kwamba charm bado iko chonjo depite kunyimwa its right 2 a fair trial ndani ya soko huru."Ebu jiulize, wale wadhii wewe hucheki mangware daily wakipiga kalesa hadi inda kutafuta unga unadhani jioni hao hupunguza stress za nini?" she axed.
Mama Pima alikubali SACCO yao haiwezi compete na coke which had chotad kaa ksh120m 4 da deal, but anasay wakipatiwa chance ya kupenya, watashine be4 2030. " Yenyewe 120 metre raondi hii hatuwezani nayo, lakini jiask, Mungiks wangeingilia hii bizna kama haingekuwa na doe?"
Kuhusu visa vya wateja kulostisha eyesight au kudedi afta kunywa ng'ang'u imeongezwa methanol xcess, Mama Pima reassured existing n potential customers dat SACCO yao haihusiki. "Ni hali ya bizna. Kila sekta iko na wakora, lakini SACCO yetu iko na code of conduct. Kwa mfano, ma members wetu hawawezi ongeza bei ovyo ovyo from hashu kila glass bila consensus. Sisi sio kaa campu za ngata."
Mama Pima announced dat Charm Brewers SACCO hivi karibuni itazindua awareness campaign kenya nzima kusensitise wadhii juu ya benefits za charm. "Tunapanga kuanza na hapa jiji nyayo stadi sikukuu ya madaraka. Tutakuwa na tent ndani ambayo tutainvite wasay waje wataste masamples," she said. "Tutashukuru sana kaa ubako na tinga watapitia, na tunahope baadae charm yetu haitasemekana ina ladha ya mavi ya kuku."
Mama Pima, mdosi wa new business development of tha Charm Brewers SACCO, sed ni wakati wa charm kupewa respect due afta miaka kaa 40 ya being hated on. "Ni antaji. Whacha nikusimulie histo mdogo. Wakoloni hawakulike ng'ang'u juu ilikuwa inapatia barley za kwao compay noma," she xplained, "So wakaichomea wire by saying oh ati inadhuru afya ya wadhii, oh sijui ng'ang'u inavunja ma famo, vako mob."
Mama Pima aliongeza ya kwamba charm bado iko chonjo depite kunyimwa its right 2 a fair trial ndani ya soko huru."Ebu jiulize, wale wadhii wewe hucheki mangware daily wakipiga kalesa hadi inda kutafuta unga unadhani jioni hao hupunguza stress za nini?" she axed.
Mama Pima alikubali SACCO yao haiwezi compete na coke which had chotad kaa ksh120m 4 da deal, but anasay wakipatiwa chance ya kupenya, watashine be4 2030. " Yenyewe 120 metre raondi hii hatuwezani nayo, lakini jiask, Mungiks wangeingilia hii bizna kama haingekuwa na doe?"
Kuhusu visa vya wateja kulostisha eyesight au kudedi afta kunywa ng'ang'u imeongezwa methanol xcess, Mama Pima reassured existing n potential customers dat SACCO yao haihusiki. "Ni hali ya bizna. Kila sekta iko na wakora, lakini SACCO yetu iko na code of conduct. Kwa mfano, ma members wetu hawawezi ongeza bei ovyo ovyo from hashu kila glass bila consensus. Sisi sio kaa campu za ngata."
Mama Pima announced dat Charm Brewers SACCO hivi karibuni itazindua awareness campaign kenya nzima kusensitise wadhii juu ya benefits za charm. "Tunapanga kuanza na hapa jiji nyayo stadi sikukuu ya madaraka. Tutakuwa na tent ndani ambayo tutainvite wasay waje wataste masamples," she said. "Tutashukuru sana kaa ubako na tinga watapitia, na tunahope baadae charm yetu haitasemekana ina ladha ya mavi ya kuku."
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