Wen M7 bongad mbof kuhusu jang'os in Bongo in swa while gassing 'bout 254's beef with 256 over migingo, 1 muthii shukud his citizenship.
Maji Chumvi, mdosi of the NGO Migingo Dala dat he anzishad afta UG's jeshi pandiliad its flag in migingo, semad M7's use of swa ni evidence yeye si mu-U.G. "Ebu wewe niambie, ni waganda wangapi ushasikia wakibonga swa tangu uzaliwe? Nishow mmoja now now nikuwai ngiri," he challenged.
M7 was quoted tapikaing doze like, "Hakuna mjaluo ataenda kuvua samaki huko," "... mpaka inasunguka kisiwa." Chumvi xplains hizi statements zilimfanya anotice iko kitu. "Tunafaa kuchunguza histo ya M7 ndio tuthibithishe huyu mbuyu kweli ametoka wapi. Hajamarry wife mkenya, hakusomea kenya, hana marela kenya. Anamesea aji lugha?"
Chumvi observed ukichuja Y from Yoweri, unabaki na Oweri, na ukiondoa K from Kaguta alafu usunde M instead, inakuwa Magũta. "Coincidence? Wewe niambie," he ongezad.
Chumvi also sed dat M7 baadae insisting eti he was misquoted showed wathii ako na DNA same kaa 2 wanasiasa wa kenya."Si hata wewe unamesea wanasiasa wa kenya vile hudeny walibonga matope hata kama wamedabiwa live kwa tv," he xplained, "na cheki pia vile M7 hulike kudunga godfatha kaa 2 ma MP wetu wakiwa kwa harambee au matanga kwa constituency."
Chumvi semad migingo dala's 1st mpango was 2 saka doe za kuboti boats, torches na makasi ya kukata kata ug's bendera supper time while the ug soldiers wako juu ya matoke. "Lakini sasa tumepiga u-turn. Tutabonga na madonor wetu majuu tuone kama kuna vile wanaweza tupiga jeki ya kudo research kuhusu M7. Nanusia tutachimba info ya nguvu ya kuprove yeye si mganda. Alafu itabidi akome."
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Marela, mabeste, 2 blame 4 typing error kwa budget jnr
Ministry ya ganji imeblame marela na mabeste who visit da typing pool offo daily 4 the kenya chumes 9.2b typing error kwa budget jnr ile uhuru alichomolea bunge.
"Manze si unajua story za marela na mabeste. Wengine wanaleta CV za wakidi zao ndio wachorwe job kwa gova, wengine wanasaka boo flite, wengine wanajifanya eti ni salamu 2 kumbe nia yao ni kudowea teabe ya 4pm, shida kaa 40," semad vidole nyepesi, mdosi wa typing pool since dec 24, 1963.
Vidole ongezad tha worst doze was his KYMs thinking they can multitask, especially mafriday aftay when wadhii buzz them 2 panga mipango ya afa wax. "Cheki, hizi harakati za kumake na kuconfirm madate huchanganyisha matypists wangu, halafu malaterz wanatype vitu zao. Muhadhara charlie yangu, muhadhara."
Vidole semad he had tried kaziaing wageni from fikaing typing pool, but his KYMs tetad dat wakifika home jioni wanakuta kaa wamengojewa kwa cager, with some of them ending up mangaing supper ya saree and swatching over 4 tha nite. "Tuliona 2 yenyewe hatuwezi kujitenga from jamii juu tuko wax kwa ministry ya doe na tunanyonga tai. Afadhali tumalizane na hawa wadhii hapa offo, tuachie malandlord monopoly ya kututime kwa cager mtaani," vidole sed.
Lakini he confirmed itabidi akazie wageni kuingia typing pool time crucial ya kupresent budget kaa ile ya June. "Tutashow soldier asiruhusu mothii yeyote kupita reception. Instead he will buzz huku juu then either my kym will teremka downstairs 2 meet his mgeni or kaa hajiskii, atasay ako kwa meeting na minister."
"Manze si unajua story za marela na mabeste. Wengine wanaleta CV za wakidi zao ndio wachorwe job kwa gova, wengine wanasaka boo flite, wengine wanajifanya eti ni salamu 2 kumbe nia yao ni kudowea teabe ya 4pm, shida kaa 40," semad vidole nyepesi, mdosi wa typing pool since dec 24, 1963.
Vidole ongezad tha worst doze was his KYMs thinking they can multitask, especially mafriday aftay when wadhii buzz them 2 panga mipango ya afa wax. "Cheki, hizi harakati za kumake na kuconfirm madate huchanganyisha matypists wangu, halafu malaterz wanatype vitu zao. Muhadhara charlie yangu, muhadhara."
Vidole semad he had tried kaziaing wageni from fikaing typing pool, but his KYMs tetad dat wakifika home jioni wanakuta kaa wamengojewa kwa cager, with some of them ending up mangaing supper ya saree and swatching over 4 tha nite. "Tuliona 2 yenyewe hatuwezi kujitenga from jamii juu tuko wax kwa ministry ya doe na tunanyonga tai. Afadhali tumalizane na hawa wadhii hapa offo, tuachie malandlord monopoly ya kututime kwa cager mtaani," vidole sed.
Lakini he confirmed itabidi akazie wageni kuingia typing pool time crucial ya kupresent budget kaa ile ya June. "Tutashow soldier asiruhusu mothii yeyote kupita reception. Instead he will buzz huku juu then either my kym will teremka downstairs 2 meet his mgeni or kaa hajiskii, atasay ako kwa meeting na minister."
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Ni madondo, not kuku porno, 4 rudge team
Da Otato under-mbao rudge team dat lost 33-32 2 tha local mboyz jijini majuzi wameshoiwa 2 immediately chuja burgers, manjiva, sodays, kuku porno na takataka zingine from their digestive systems.
64 cents, the pissed off cocha, confirmed this benchside declaration while yeye na maboyz wake mangad ugali madondo at a kayosk in inda. "Boss, si be4 2 land hii mtaa nilimesea match itakuwa walkover mbele nani duniani harecognise stato ndio show stopper iwe ni ganji, ngoma, michezo, mamovie, mandai... niendelee au nisiendelee?" he ulizad.
64 confessed alidhani kenya was part of hawaii and he had 2 tune obama 2 get passport ya dharura, ongezad by tha time stato was leading 32-14, alikuwa ashapanga whut 2 bonga baadae. "Ningeshow wakenya hii tabia ya kumanga sijui sembe, fish, madondo, chapo, matoke, murram na kadhalika msaray kaa mnataka maboy wenu wafaulu kwenye sekta ya rudge. Badala yake, muanze kumunch maburger, manjiva, kuku porno, mahot dog, mapizza, etc kaa mara tatu daily isivi."
But afta maboy wetu came bak from reverse n shindad, 64 na crew yake walibaki wamezubi. "Kizee, kwanza nilijijazia kuna uchawi unaendelea kwa pitch. Lakini afta nithibitishe hakukuwa na mende headless kwa uanjo, nikatuliza," he ongezad. It was wen he chekid one of his mboyz dishing a burger afterwards dat he gutukad ya kwamba mlo ndio ilichomea wire squad yake. "Nilishow huyo boy apige hiyo burger conversion na ahakikishe imeland ngong rd," he xplained.
64 pia hamishad em from their cbd hotel 2 thika, from where they have 2 piga kalesa 2 n fro nai daily. "Hii stori ya kumanga mlo local na pia kusidestep makauzi, mathree being driven juu ya pevu, mahawker na makarao itawathanya tizi enuff na mifupa sugu ndio tuweze kubonda sio tuu kenya next time, but pia mateam zingine kwa hii compe," he semad.
64 cents, the pissed off cocha, confirmed this benchside declaration while yeye na maboyz wake mangad ugali madondo at a kayosk in inda. "Boss, si be4 2 land hii mtaa nilimesea match itakuwa walkover mbele nani duniani harecognise stato ndio show stopper iwe ni ganji, ngoma, michezo, mamovie, mandai... niendelee au nisiendelee?" he ulizad.
64 confessed alidhani kenya was part of hawaii and he had 2 tune obama 2 get passport ya dharura, ongezad by tha time stato was leading 32-14, alikuwa ashapanga whut 2 bonga baadae. "Ningeshow wakenya hii tabia ya kumanga sijui sembe, fish, madondo, chapo, matoke, murram na kadhalika msaray kaa mnataka maboy wenu wafaulu kwenye sekta ya rudge. Badala yake, muanze kumunch maburger, manjiva, kuku porno, mahot dog, mapizza, etc kaa mara tatu daily isivi."
But afta maboy wetu came bak from reverse n shindad, 64 na crew yake walibaki wamezubi. "Kizee, kwanza nilijijazia kuna uchawi unaendelea kwa pitch. Lakini afta nithibitishe hakukuwa na mende headless kwa uanjo, nikatuliza," he ongezad. It was wen he chekid one of his mboyz dishing a burger afterwards dat he gutukad ya kwamba mlo ndio ilichomea wire squad yake. "Nilishow huyo boy apige hiyo burger conversion na ahakikishe imeland ngong rd," he xplained.
64 pia hamishad em from their cbd hotel 2 thika, from where they have 2 piga kalesa 2 n fro nai daily. "Hii stori ya kumanga mlo local na pia kusidestep makauzi, mathree being driven juu ya pevu, mahawker na makarao itawathanya tizi enuff na mifupa sugu ndio tuweze kubonda sio tuu kenya next time, but pia mateam zingine kwa hii compe," he semad.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Mboches bamba afta G10 incites mamaz, bachelorz cancel weddos
Da uamuzi by G10 2 chochea Kenyan mamas 2 nyima jamaas booty has led 2 a sudden increase in demand for mbochnes in nai.
Madam L, a ex-mboch who sasa runs her own mboch placement kabureau near kencom, in addition 2 a salon n a massage parlour, sed she was lazimishwad 2 lenga jienjoying long weekend 2 do bizna afta traffic kibao on her kabureau's website wekad jam n and crashed. "Wa, boss, si hii risto ya kunyima macharlie vitu imeleta tafash tao. Huskii nilikuwa nimepanga kuishia coast kula hepi lakini wapi, imebidi nifungue biashara ndio nishughulikie hii emergency," she semad. Madam L added dat afta ha site angukad jamaas nyeshad on her offo reception, mpaka ikabidi aite makarao 2 force em wapange line n shika doria mpaka the last clayo is served.
Madam L toboad dat be4 tha mgomo no mothii eva kujad 2 sakanya a mboch. "Hiyo ilikuwa wax ya mawife au madem zao," she semad. "Na ubaya ya wamatha ni hao hulike mamboch who gwarad kcpe, wametoka ocha, na wasiwe masupuu." She ongezad dat jamaas hawana such macomplications bora 2 mboch anaweza cook n clean.
Lakini raondi hii jamaas wameinsist dat mbochnes sign a performance contract saying dat not only will they report 2 jamaas directly, but they will bila maswali mob perform any otha wax as and when requested by their wadosis.
Man keno, who was tegeaing 2 kwachu a mboch after his mama smsed him dat she was pigaing g10 support, denied any suspicious plot in jamaas' sudden involvement in choraing mamboch job. "Hiyo ni porojo, pumbavu wewe. Hii ni njia yetu ya kuappreciate our hardworking mamas who also hustle daily wakitafuta unga and fika cagerni kaa wamehema. Pia tunaprove ya kwamba jamaas wanaweza share da burden ya kumanage cager," he xplained.
Madam L semad the only tatizo in da recruitment process was dat some jamaas wanted 2 kwachu 2 mbochnes. "Zee, supply raondi hii hairuhusu. Hatuwezi kuwa na uhaba wa mei, ngata, na pia mamboch. Nimeamua ratio itakuwa 1:1 ndio kila charlie asihate mboch," she confirmed.
Meanwhile, bachelors ambao walifaa kumarikwa this weekend cancelled those mipangoz wakigwaya kunyimwa vitu during honeymoon. Almost Married, who confessed him n his chick had 'chilled' hadi weddo nite, tetad, "Chief, ebu imagine umekatia manzi, muende out kiasi, aitikie kukumarry, upeleke mahari kwao, ukanje ganji za weddo na kadhalika alafu 1st nite kama hazee na wife akunyime vitu juu ya g10. Si utaitana."
Madam L, a ex-mboch who sasa runs her own mboch placement kabureau near kencom, in addition 2 a salon n a massage parlour, sed she was lazimishwad 2 lenga jienjoying long weekend 2 do bizna afta traffic kibao on her kabureau's website wekad jam n and crashed. "Wa, boss, si hii risto ya kunyima macharlie vitu imeleta tafash tao. Huskii nilikuwa nimepanga kuishia coast kula hepi lakini wapi, imebidi nifungue biashara ndio nishughulikie hii emergency," she semad. Madam L added dat afta ha site angukad jamaas nyeshad on her offo reception, mpaka ikabidi aite makarao 2 force em wapange line n shika doria mpaka the last clayo is served.
Madam L toboad dat be4 tha mgomo no mothii eva kujad 2 sakanya a mboch. "Hiyo ilikuwa wax ya mawife au madem zao," she semad. "Na ubaya ya wamatha ni hao hulike mamboch who gwarad kcpe, wametoka ocha, na wasiwe masupuu." She ongezad dat jamaas hawana such macomplications bora 2 mboch anaweza cook n clean.
Lakini raondi hii jamaas wameinsist dat mbochnes sign a performance contract saying dat not only will they report 2 jamaas directly, but they will bila maswali mob perform any otha wax as and when requested by their wadosis.
Man keno, who was tegeaing 2 kwachu a mboch after his mama smsed him dat she was pigaing g10 support, denied any suspicious plot in jamaas' sudden involvement in choraing mamboch job. "Hiyo ni porojo, pumbavu wewe. Hii ni njia yetu ya kuappreciate our hardworking mamas who also hustle daily wakitafuta unga and fika cagerni kaa wamehema. Pia tunaprove ya kwamba jamaas wanaweza share da burden ya kumanage cager," he xplained.
Madam L semad the only tatizo in da recruitment process was dat some jamaas wanted 2 kwachu 2 mbochnes. "Zee, supply raondi hii hairuhusu. Hatuwezi kuwa na uhaba wa mei, ngata, na pia mamboch. Nimeamua ratio itakuwa 1:1 ndio kila charlie asihate mboch," she confirmed.
Meanwhile, bachelors ambao walifaa kumarikwa this weekend cancelled those mipangoz wakigwaya kunyimwa vitu during honeymoon. Almost Married, who confessed him n his chick had 'chilled' hadi weddo nite, tetad, "Chief, ebu imagine umekatia manzi, muende out kiasi, aitikie kukumarry, upeleke mahari kwao, ukanje ganji za weddo na kadhalika alafu 1st nite kama hazee na wife akunyime vitu juu ya g10. Si utaitana."
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