Lobby group fulani imeonya nchi ya kwamba kutakua na results mbof afta ma ministers were downgraded from shindes n otha mandai za nguvu 2 passats. "Most of our members r experiencing post traumatic stress disorder ambayo itawazuia kuperform at their best," sez Kujeni Hapa, tha membership mdosi wa tha Kenya Association of Disenfranchised Cabinet Ministers, Assistant Ministers, PSs' and allied Gova Wadosis (KADCMAMPSAGW).
Hapa xplains members mob wamelose motisha ya wax and some r thinking of relocating to SA, where ministers wanaweza boti 2 rides whose total bei doesn't xceed 70% of their annual salos. "Beste kaa Trevor Manuel anapush biemer 750 series baana, na yake ni shadow compared 2 wenzake ambao wanasukuma shindes," Hapa tetas. "I won't name names but membaz wengine wamesend CVs 2 SA gova na wakipenya, si hata wewe unajua kile kitafuata." He adds dat brain drain might force gova ya Tinga na Ubako 2 import ministers soon, who won't kubali 2 push passats as expats.
Hapa pia ameask wasay not 2 invite ministers 2 be guest of honours in such funkys kama harambeees, pre wedding bashes, prize giving na hata in some xtreme cases, mazishi. "Hakuna member wetu ataitikia kujiaibisha by parking ndai kaa passat next to guests with mandai za nguvu, na showing yo constituents dat 'benz iko garage' can only take u so far," he xplains. Hapa sez those having funkys kwanza in Dec will have 2 jobo xtra hard to attract ministers kuwa their guests of honour. "Wakiprovide ndai ya power au chopper 2 transport memberz wetu 2 n from the event labda ndio itatoa nyoka pangoni."
Now that madere wa mathree na pia makarao wa traffic will be able 2 chokoza passats hata kama kuna bendera side ya bonnet kwa jam na 4 speeding respectively, Hapa anask gova 2 let ministers jobo from cager zao hadi kitu 11 when jam imedie, alafu they can jikata offo. "Actually, hii deal itahelp ma membaz wetu 2 heal from tha trauma juu sioni gova ikilipa 4 post traumatic counselling."
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Good samaritanz congratulate Africa 4 fikaing 1b pips
Mahuman smugglers, multinationals na mapoliticians ni baadhi ya ma well-wishers ambao wamesend Africa congratulatory messages afta UN unleashed breaking news dat africa's population sasa ni 1b na upuzi, na ati itadouble by 2050.
Bahati Mbaya, an ex-kanjora who since the re-introduction of mfumo wa vyama mob in '91 ameshindwa kukomboa jeshi 2 saidia him become mp, ako na hope ya kuitwa 'mheshimiwa' afta 2017 elections. "Mapotential recruits wa jeshi ya mine hunilenga juu siwezi wakanja doe poa style ya ma-mps," he tetas. Coz of msoto b.m. campaigns kama hawker: he scatters wen his compay's majeshi tokea n zushia 4 his mafans. "Sasa juu wakidi wataongezeka bei zitashuka so hata mimi nitakuwa na squad ya mavijanaa kaa 40 wamejihami. Watch this space muzeiya."
S'one else ambaye amejazika na hii risto ni Nafasi Iko, organising sec. wa Mediterranean Sea Cargo Xporters Association, lobby group ya mahustler who specialise in forwarding wafrika 2 Italy au Spain thru that sea ndani ya tube zimeshona vimajor. "In fact next wk campu zetu zote zitachora biz plans za power alafu ziapply 4 loans za kuboti mo tubes juu sasa demand ni guaranteed," he sez. He adds that UN stats zitakuwa security. "Sioni banks zikitushow ati tuwapatie sijui title deeds au log books, mbele reports za UN ni kama bankers cheques: hazibounce."
MNO incorporated, a ki-multinational dat chimbas 4 anything under tha african soil as long as it's bling compliant, is even planning an in-hse bash. "Tulikuwa tumeshindwa tutaget wapi ma kym tukiangukia ndechu au ngata, mbele masomo ya saree imepeleka wajnr wengi daro," sez Walete ka Wote, mdosi wa talent acquisition n disposal. "Hii 411 imetupatia motisha juu inamaanisha hatutahata ma kym kwanza kenya ikiangukia gauge sides za Isiolo, juu si hata wewe unajua gova haina doe ya kujenga daro hizo zote na pia maodijo watapatikana wapi?"
NGOs zile husurvive na doe frm majuu by showing african kidoz ambao wamekuwa wasted by ubao au kamdudu pia zimehappy viajabu. "Tungetaka kucongratulate mama africa 4 fikaing tha 1b pips milestone. Kiasi tulikuwa tumehaha ganji zitakauka coz madonors wamechoka kuona mbisha ya mkidi mmoja 4 like 5 yrs str8," xplains Say Cheese, chief photographer wa NGO Njaa Africa Nzima. "Sasa at least hii population xplosion itatuwezesha kubadilisha mbisha za mavictims daily online. Ngoja uone vile madonors wataguswa pahali na vile ganji zitacome kama tsunami."
Bahati Mbaya, an ex-kanjora who since the re-introduction of mfumo wa vyama mob in '91 ameshindwa kukomboa jeshi 2 saidia him become mp, ako na hope ya kuitwa 'mheshimiwa' afta 2017 elections. "Mapotential recruits wa jeshi ya mine hunilenga juu siwezi wakanja doe poa style ya ma-mps," he tetas. Coz of msoto b.m. campaigns kama hawker: he scatters wen his compay's majeshi tokea n zushia 4 his mafans. "Sasa juu wakidi wataongezeka bei zitashuka so hata mimi nitakuwa na squad ya mavijanaa kaa 40 wamejihami. Watch this space muzeiya."
S'one else ambaye amejazika na hii risto ni Nafasi Iko, organising sec. wa Mediterranean Sea Cargo Xporters Association, lobby group ya mahustler who specialise in forwarding wafrika 2 Italy au Spain thru that sea ndani ya tube zimeshona vimajor. "In fact next wk campu zetu zote zitachora biz plans za power alafu ziapply 4 loans za kuboti mo tubes juu sasa demand ni guaranteed," he sez. He adds that UN stats zitakuwa security. "Sioni banks zikitushow ati tuwapatie sijui title deeds au log books, mbele reports za UN ni kama bankers cheques: hazibounce."
MNO incorporated, a ki-multinational dat chimbas 4 anything under tha african soil as long as it's bling compliant, is even planning an in-hse bash. "Tulikuwa tumeshindwa tutaget wapi ma kym tukiangukia ndechu au ngata, mbele masomo ya saree imepeleka wajnr wengi daro," sez Walete ka Wote, mdosi wa talent acquisition n disposal. "Hii 411 imetupatia motisha juu inamaanisha hatutahata ma kym kwanza kenya ikiangukia gauge sides za Isiolo, juu si hata wewe unajua gova haina doe ya kujenga daro hizo zote na pia maodijo watapatikana wapi?"
NGOs zile husurvive na doe frm majuu by showing african kidoz ambao wamekuwa wasted by ubao au kamdudu pia zimehappy viajabu. "Tungetaka kucongratulate mama africa 4 fikaing tha 1b pips milestone. Kiasi tulikuwa tumehaha ganji zitakauka coz madonors wamechoka kuona mbisha ya mkidi mmoja 4 like 5 yrs str8," xplains Say Cheese, chief photographer wa NGO Njaa Africa Nzima. "Sasa at least hii population xplosion itatuwezesha kubadilisha mbisha za mavictims daily online. Ngoja uone vile madonors wataguswa pahali na vile ganji zitacome kama tsunami."
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