Wiki mbe tu after obama avisit ghana, stato bado inaendelea kukatia dat country. Fao, stato imechuja visa requirement 4 maghanaians. "Hali. Yenyewe since maslaves kitambooooo walipitia ghana kabla wafike stato na hawakuneed mavisa, mbona raondi hii tuinsist wawe na visa wakiland?" sez mob cocoa, of tha new offo dept of ghanaian affairs kule white hse.
Cocoa, who reports directly 2 obama, adds dat stato's balozi in ghana hatazusha wen hiyo gova tupas mbao matime zake. "Tuseme mahawker wa accra walete noma tao wakihandwa na kanjo alafu makarao wafyatue risasi, ambassador wetu won't organise a press conference kudemand ghanaian gova iresepect human rites," he xplains. "Instead atabonga thru 'diplomatic channels' juu anarecognise ghana ni sovereign state."
Alafu shud ugonjwa muhadhara kaa swine flu chomoka frm ghana in future, cocoa promises dat stato won't respond with a travel advisory. "In fact tutachochea wasay wa stato wavisit ghana kwa wingi ndio wapige jeki sekta ya utalii," he confirms.
Stato inapanga kutetea ghana ijoin un security kanjo na G8. "Si unamesea africa iko missing in these places," cocoa sez. "So tunafeel ghana ni tha best nchi kuwaklilisha so we will ng'ang'ana iwe member be 4 2030."
Kumalizia, stato haitaruhusu reports that may embarrass ghana kama zile za transparency international go unchallenged. "Tutamaintain hizi story ni biased, alarmist, sensational and aimed at undermining investor confidence in ghana," cocoa fumes. "Kwahivyo, tutashow international community wazilenge."
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Kuna gud side 2 Nai woday rationing
Nai pips no doubt wamekatsika sana na this scandal ya woday rationin', lakini mbuyu mmoja thinks kuna hidden opportunities ndani ya hii noma. "Bebaing a 20-litre mtungi kutoka kwa gate hadi bafu ya cager yako ni tizi muafaka 4 mwili yako yote, kwanza ma biceps," claims Glasi Kaquarter, a chlorine, soray, chalk supplier 2 kanjo who now hana bizna. Kaquarter ongezas dat Nai pips tumekuwa walazy kinyama. "Hauniamini nini. Cheki, tunakwachu lift hata kama tunashoot 1st flr! Hii tizi itatufanya tuwe active mdogo angalau tuishi miaka mob."
Kaquarter sez hii rationin' ni gap deadly ya bizna for mayouth. "Maboys na madem wale watado bizna ya kundonyo maji will saidia gova 2 create 500k jobos kila mwaka, na pia watapunguza usotaji na ukauzi."
Kaquarter, amabaye anapanga kuwa kanjora soon, has axed Nai chix 2 lower their standards kiasi wen sororaing a msay on their 1st date. "Ukweli, macharlie wengi hii time hawataweza kupiga passport shower daily, whacha hata full shower. So itabidi wamix roll on na jasho," he confesses. He ombas mashorays wasichuje jamaas ambao watatupa kiasi. "Surely, there's mo 2 a msay than usafi au sio."
Kuna vile Nai pips hawalike kuswim unless wen they r in coasto, na hii rationing ni chance yetu ya kulearn s'thin brandy. "Not only will we jifunza kuswim n' ongeza hii skill kwa CV, but simultaneously tutasafisha mwili kaa tunaogelea," he xplains.
Lakini Kaquarter sez 2 fuly faidika wasay tafadhali wasinyore ndani ya pool.
Kaquarter sez hii rationin' ni gap deadly ya bizna for mayouth. "Maboys na madem wale watado bizna ya kundonyo maji will saidia gova 2 create 500k jobos kila mwaka, na pia watapunguza usotaji na ukauzi."
Kaquarter, amabaye anapanga kuwa kanjora soon, has axed Nai chix 2 lower their standards kiasi wen sororaing a msay on their 1st date. "Ukweli, macharlie wengi hii time hawataweza kupiga passport shower daily, whacha hata full shower. So itabidi wamix roll on na jasho," he confesses. He ombas mashorays wasichuje jamaas ambao watatupa kiasi. "Surely, there's mo 2 a msay than usafi au sio."
Kuna vile Nai pips hawalike kuswim unless wen they r in coasto, na hii rationing ni chance yetu ya kulearn s'thin brandy. "Not only will we jifunza kuswim n' ongeza hii skill kwa CV, but simultaneously tutasafisha mwili kaa tunaogelea," he xplains.
Lakini Kaquarter sez 2 fuly faidika wasay tafadhali wasinyore ndani ya pool.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Kenyanz omboleza MJ's chipping
Wakenya wamejoin wasay wengine worldwide kuomboleza MJ's sudden chippin' on june 25. "Uko fresh lakini. Huskiii tulistuka mbaya mbof kusikia Maiko ameukata," sez Macho Wazi, the watchie who checkis woday levels at Masinga dam. "Afta tutinge hii dam juu maji imekuwa less, tulikuwa tunapanga kucontract MJ ah moonwalk hadi moon ahresearch kama atawai maji hiyo mtaa."
Mungiks pia wanalia kinyama. "Sisi kwanza tumepigwa dummy ya mwaka," tetas Pande Zote, mdosi wa new biz development. "Tulipoget 411 ati Mj anapanga comeback concerts kaa finje in Brito, chap chap tukasmell deal." Pande Zote xplains dat they showed Jacko's agent dat itabidi ahsign contract agreeing 2 chotea Mungiks kaa 10% ya doe zake frm kila show. "Hata visa application ya lawyer wetu iko Brito embassy tayari," she reveals.
Chix who tumia skin lightening creams r also feeling uchungu. Ngozi Lite, chairlady n founder of tha Kenya Guild of Dedicated Cream Consumers (KGDCC), sez sir kifo's timing imewabore. "Hii ni balaa. Tulikuwa tumeorganise conference bigi inaitwa 'I feel nothing' juu mahaterz wengi diss us 4 using em creams," she zushas. "Ilikuwa imebaki kidogo 2 MJ ahconfirm atakuwa main speaker alafu akadie, damn."
Finally, MJ's death has left a quoro of mathays who had planned a joint b-day bash hanging. "Katika harakati za kucut costs, wamatha wote hood yetu whose sons share birthdays amuad kuwapeleka out nxt weekend wajibonde na face painting na bouncing castles," sez Mama Jimmy. "Mal8ers, we were 2 surprise em by unleashing MJ awasomee bedtime stories."
Mungiks pia wanalia kinyama. "Sisi kwanza tumepigwa dummy ya mwaka," tetas Pande Zote, mdosi wa new biz development. "Tulipoget 411 ati Mj anapanga comeback concerts kaa finje in Brito, chap chap tukasmell deal." Pande Zote xplains dat they showed Jacko's agent dat itabidi ahsign contract agreeing 2 chotea Mungiks kaa 10% ya doe zake frm kila show. "Hata visa application ya lawyer wetu iko Brito embassy tayari," she reveals.
Chix who tumia skin lightening creams r also feeling uchungu. Ngozi Lite, chairlady n founder of tha Kenya Guild of Dedicated Cream Consumers (KGDCC), sez sir kifo's timing imewabore. "Hii ni balaa. Tulikuwa tumeorganise conference bigi inaitwa 'I feel nothing' juu mahaterz wengi diss us 4 using em creams," she zushas. "Ilikuwa imebaki kidogo 2 MJ ahconfirm atakuwa main speaker alafu akadie, damn."
Finally, MJ's death has left a quoro of mathays who had planned a joint b-day bash hanging. "Katika harakati za kucut costs, wamatha wote hood yetu whose sons share birthdays amuad kuwapeleka out nxt weekend wajibonde na face painting na bouncing castles," sez Mama Jimmy. "Mal8ers, we were 2 surprise em by unleashing MJ awasomee bedtime stories."
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Kenya n zim on each otha's case kuhusu iran's supuu tender
Iran imeshortlist kenya n zim in tha final rao of a tender 2 provide consultancy services kuhusu formin n runnin a grand coalition gova.
Prezzo ahmadinejad's recent reelection 4 a 2nd stay at state hse was kataliwad by mousavi, fuatwad by noma in teheran. "Afta annan suggested dat ahmadinejad abaki prezzo na mousavi awe prime minister, alitushow tusakanye skills kutoka nchi zingine with xperience kwa sector ya coalition gova," sez ali bin ali, a broker promising both countires dat watashinda hiyo tender.
Lakini kenya n zim wanazushiana 'bout ukora tactics 2 kwachu an unfair advantage. "Tunasikia kutoka sources za nguvu ya kwamba kenya imegay iran kahawa, tiabe na maua za saray," complains mucheburere muchaburara frm tha zim compe.
But kenya's mwangi opiyo, chaguliwad by consensus at a pnu/odm retreat at mau forest 2 be tha tender delegation mdosi, sez zee. "Whachana na hao mahaters kutoka zim, hawamesei kile wanabonga. Iko shida gani tukicome na kahawa na tiabe ya kenya kwa boardroom meeting na client?" Mwangi opiyo ongezas dat tha roses' harufu act as air fresheners ''coz saa zingine by mistake msay anaweza shu... shuuta."
He sez it's zim chezaing game haramu. "Mbona wanateta na tunasikia wameshow iran wataget kiraiko na labour za saray wakinab hiyo deal?" Zim is a serious tobacco n labour xporter yaani.
But mucheburere kataas dat shtaka. " Shindwe! makosa iko wapi tukirelax na client na kiraiko after meeting stressful mbele barley haikubaliwi huku?" He confirms no xcess labour frm zim is available juu wadhii kaa wote wako S.A.
Ali bin ali semas iran will amua mshindi either be4 kenya sets up tribunal au annan pelekas bahasha ya masuspects hague, whicheva cuts earlier. The winner kwachus free ngata hadi iran's next elections, with an option of nuclear power ''skills transfer'' at 50% discount.
Prezzo ahmadinejad's recent reelection 4 a 2nd stay at state hse was kataliwad by mousavi, fuatwad by noma in teheran. "Afta annan suggested dat ahmadinejad abaki prezzo na mousavi awe prime minister, alitushow tusakanye skills kutoka nchi zingine with xperience kwa sector ya coalition gova," sez ali bin ali, a broker promising both countires dat watashinda hiyo tender.
Lakini kenya n zim wanazushiana 'bout ukora tactics 2 kwachu an unfair advantage. "Tunasikia kutoka sources za nguvu ya kwamba kenya imegay iran kahawa, tiabe na maua za saray," complains mucheburere muchaburara frm tha zim compe.
But kenya's mwangi opiyo, chaguliwad by consensus at a pnu/odm retreat at mau forest 2 be tha tender delegation mdosi, sez zee. "Whachana na hao mahaters kutoka zim, hawamesei kile wanabonga. Iko shida gani tukicome na kahawa na tiabe ya kenya kwa boardroom meeting na client?" Mwangi opiyo ongezas dat tha roses' harufu act as air fresheners ''coz saa zingine by mistake msay anaweza shu... shuuta."
He sez it's zim chezaing game haramu. "Mbona wanateta na tunasikia wameshow iran wataget kiraiko na labour za saray wakinab hiyo deal?" Zim is a serious tobacco n labour xporter yaani.
But mucheburere kataas dat shtaka. " Shindwe! makosa iko wapi tukirelax na client na kiraiko after meeting stressful mbele barley haikubaliwi huku?" He confirms no xcess labour frm zim is available juu wadhii kaa wote wako S.A.
Ali bin ali semas iran will amua mshindi either be4 kenya sets up tribunal au annan pelekas bahasha ya masuspects hague, whicheva cuts earlier. The winner kwachus free ngata hadi iran's next elections, with an option of nuclear power ''skills transfer'' at 50% discount.
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