Bernie Madoff emails application 2 Ubako afta parliament chujas Ringera's reappointment

Stato ime-email application ya mgongaji sugu Bernie Madoff 2 Ubako as a potential mdosi wa KACC afta ma-mps wachuje reappoinment ya Ringera on Wednesday. "Kizee, kama beste yenu wa kufa na kupona, tuko concerned sana hamna mkenya mnaweza amini awe mdosi wa kacc," sez Macho Red, bernie's watchie. "Kwanza afta Transparency International ibonge nyinyi ndio most corrupt Afrika mashariki."
Ringera amekuwa dongera wa kacc since '04 na despite kuget 2.5m shs kila mwezi as mshande, ameblame AG 4 lack of progress in nabbing wagongaji sugu.
Bernie alioperate pyramid scheme ya nguvu since the 90s that swung wadhii returns za 10-15% kila mwaka, lakini by the time he was busted in Dec '08, alikuwa amewagonga kitu ksh4 trillion. In June alikwachu 150yrs kwa cell. "As u can c, huyu mbuyu bernie ako na skillz na xperience noma in gongaing wadhii big time n as tha msemo goes, it takes a mgongaji 2 nab a mgongaji," macho sez.
Macho alichorwa kaa special bodyguard wa bernie juu sifa zake zinamfanya an easy target 4 makauzis. "Mimi huenda na yeye kila place hata kwa bafu, na pia lazima nitaste dishi yake in advance."
Stato iko so sure bernie ataget hiyo pozi mpaka ameanza daro on kenya ndio akiitiwa online interview by state hse, atakuwa fomu. "Jana aliletewa map ya africa na TV na akashoiwa by monday awe anaweza not only kutambua kenya blindfolded, but aweze kutamka words like 'sasa', 'beste' na 'sicheki na watu' thru watching kbc," macho sez. He adds dat kuna mpishi mkenya amechorwa part time kupikia bernie dish kama sembe, madondo na mihogo. "Ata make impression poa wakati wa online interview kaa atamanga madondo instead of maburger na manjiva."
Kwa application yake bernie swears he won't kwachu salo as part of community service, will prevent the next goldenberg n anglo leasing kashfas, with a special emphasis on busting pyramid schemes. "Bernie amejazika sana pyramid schemes zenu ziko nyuma juu zinatumia njaro kaa sending wadhii sms' like, 'U have won 1 million shs in tha Mwezi iko Corner Mbaya competition. Send airtime ya saw moja 2 claim your prize!' ", macho sez.
Stato iko tayari kuwachilia bernie on compassionate grounds akiget hiyo wax kama 2 vile scotland majuzi released Ali al-megrahi juu ako na cancer noma ya prostate. Ali alifungwa 4 life in '01 4 blowing up a ndege in '88. "Tunafeel itakuwa vizi bernie achizike kwa cell for miaka 150 wen anaweza whacha legacy poa by donating talanta yake saree kusaidia a third-world african country fight ugongaji," macho malizas.