KU now a utalii site

KU has been chaguliwad as kenya's 1st campo-2-tourist site after miaka kaa 40 of admitting vijanas who didn't jua that mawes were multi-purpose things when they were in seco, then dumping them 2 a jobo marko that ambias them, "Pole kijana, hauna experience."
Flat Heels, the chick at the wizara ya utalii in charge of sakanyaing new bizna n extra mbinu of gongaing local n foreign wataliis, semad KU will make a timam utalii site coz riots za hivi majuzi wachad the joint looking more of a movie set and less of a chuo where ma professors show off their backs. "Modhii, huskii when i saw KU on news nilidhani ni storo on how kenya is fast becoming a mzuri location 4 shooting movies. Kumbe it was after jamaas zushad mbaya mbof," she said.
Heels couldn't amini what she onad and sacrificed her aerobics class at the gym the next asubuhi 2 fika KU and confirm, escorted by a karao just in case some jamaas didn't go diggs after they were fukuzwad. "Ngaaatho. Yaani when i fikad the sight was unbelievable. Mawe kila mahali, broken madirisha, njumu, risasi, mikebe za tear gas, etc. I took fotos with my fone and mmsed them 2 my mdosi. He was jazzed with my idea papo hapo."
Heels semad gova had spent ganji mob 2 sondeka damage wadhii caused since rioting became a kawa xtra curricular activity in campo zote za umma, but now coz Tinga's and Ubako's gova imesota, hasara tupu centres kaa campo were being chujwad. "Ebu niambie, haja gani gova ispend doe mob kurepair madirisha, kubuy gates mpya, kuboti bullets, teargas na ngata 4 karao trucks when campos can become profit centres?" she ulizad.
KU will target both watalii from majuu and particularly locals who want a place 2 lounge and ngojea jam ya thika rd 2 kwisha, especially ile ya Monday mornings. Karao will be on site perma and required 2 pause as if they're about to shoot someone who is aiming a jiwe at them. Lakini their guns will be toy guns 2 prevent the inevitable release of stray bullets.
Heels kubalid wadhii wamesota raondi hii dunia nzima, but anajikaza kisabuni. "Modhii, ebu nishow nchi gani ingine which has converted a campo 2 a tourism site. Niko na hope tukipost mbisha za KU na hawa makarao wameuma pause ya kushoot online as the main attractions, watalii watabambi...? watabambika," she swore.
Heels ongezad kuna mipango ya kujenga monuments dedicated 2 jamaas who have thrown the most stones, and vice kanjoras who have witnessed the most riots while in offo.
Lakini she gomad 2 toboa how much she expects the site 2 make in its first year of bizna, only that "It shud ingiza enuff ganji ndio mdosi wangu approves that car loan application i chorad on Valentine's day last year."